Friday, May 29, 2009

Don't Be Such a Snob

Since I have graduated from college and entered the field of Psychology, I have learned that judging people is something that I just should not do. I have worked with individuals who have mental health issues, mental retardation, and addiction. In each of these jobs it was my duty to be neutral, not to judge, to listen, and to be empathetic. I believe that this is how people should be all the time--not just with those who are challenged in some capacity.

My friend is getting married in August and my honey and I have been invited to the wedding as well as her Bridal Tea, which is next week. I have never been to a bridal tea and have been asking questions as to what is expected of me in the way of attire and whether or not I should be bringing a gift. Now recently I discovered that I can access GoogleTalk from my work computer and I like to chat with friends. I was chatting with an older friend of mine (she's not old, just older lol) and happened to mention that I was going to said friend's bridal tea (we both know her because we all go to school together). We giggled about how I will probably stand out like a sore thumb with my locks and brown skin and probably being the youngest in attendance. My friend said back to me "You probably won't be the only non-White person there I'm pretty sure her fiance is Puerto Rican." Since I have hung out with my friend and her fiance before I knew that he was definitely not hispanic. Curious as to why she would think that I asked why and her response was: "He seems pretty trashy so I just assumed he was..." GASP!

Seriously? That's racist on one level and extremely judgmental on another. My friend's fiance is a very nice guy and while he may have made some poor choices, that does not make him trash--it makes him human. Let me give you a brief background. Fiance has 2 young boys by 2 different women. He was married to one of these women and in a committed relationship with the other. He is since divorced and engaged to my friend but is a very good father and pays child support for both children as well as spends quality time with them. Does this make him trash? To me, it makes him a man who is taking responsibility for his actions. Not to mention my friend who called him trash has never met him and doesn't know anything about him other than he has 2 children.

Maybe I expect too much from people. But in my defense, she has every intent on becoming a counselor one day. I would think that she would be more tolerant and less judgmental of people. Then again this was the same person who said she couldn't tolerate people who abused drugs because she thought they were just being stupid and selfish. She recently reneged on that statement and said she had the opportunity to sit in on a meeting and has a new found respect for individuals struggling with addiction.

I just don't get it. Why is it that the people whose lives are the least together are the ones spit poison from their mouths? Well, I'm lying, I do get it. It's because they are insecure and it makes them feel better to talk badly about other people. Let me give you the rundown on Little Miss Snobby: she's 33 and single (not by choice), completely neurotic, has panic attacks over nothing, is so desperate to find a husband (i guess she just wants to skip the boyfriend phase), takes advice from a 23 year old, and sees a shrink on a weekly basis. I'm not saying that these things are bad things but if she would look at herself for just a moment she would see that she has no place coming down on someone else.

Sorry guys, I'm just really bothered me. Take time to get to know people before you decide you don't like them. Don't dislike someone on the basis of the choices that they have made rather how they are handling and taking responsibility for those choices! That's it, I'm done now lol.


Cherish Love said...

You definitely had a reason to vent there. I actually gasped out loud when I read what "Miss Snobby" said about your friend's fianceƩ. It's a good thing I wasn't at work when I read this because most of my co-workers are Latino. As a matter of fact, I'm Latina!!! (But I'm not Puerto Rican so it didn't hit me too hard.) It is really hard to be non-judgmental, but I agree with you that we should all try to be in both our professional and personal lives.

Naturally Sophia said...

It's so odd she said that. Right when I think a judgmental thought, I think of all the nasty,sinful things I have thought or did. It humbles oneself and makes it easy to not judge.
You are really in the right field! :)

Au Naturale said...

thank you for the affirmation ladies! while we can't all be perfect, it means something that every day we try to be better than we were the day before!

Euphoria's Sisterlocks said...

Hey I nominated you the creative blogger award

Au Naturale said...

wow, thanks Euphoria!