Wednesday, October 14, 2009


I apologize for the lack of posts as of late but I promise within the next week I will get some pictures and updates up here. My one year anniversary was on October was pretty uneventful and for the most part my hair has remained unchanged for the last 2 months so I didn't have any real sense of urgency to post any pictures. I will get something up here soon though!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

The wedding

Last week the bf and I went to our good friends' wedding. Here is a picture of us in the church before the ceremony started. The brides mother gave me 2 adorable purple and gold clips to put in my hair (they matched my dress perfectly) and I clipped the sides of my hair back to open my face up a bit more. This is the complete look of my curls. They only lasted 2 days because the day after the wedding bf and I went to a baseball game with the newlyweds and it rained a bit and then turned into a disgusting, humid, sauna so I ended up taking the style down the day after the game. It was a very nice style though and it was a smash hit at the wedding!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Thursday, August 6, 2009

I got my locks styled!

I'm going to a wedding this weekend so I got a retightening and my consultant styled my hair. I'll post a picture tomorrow after I take the rollers out.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Update on the Job

Well I have been blessed this week and it's only Monday! My old job called me and said they have a few positions open and I am welcome to come back. Not only that, but I get my vacation time back! Thank GOD! I had been praying and working hard to get my resume out there and making as many contacts as I could and something came through. I actually found a new church to go to. I had not been to church in a long time because I was looking for something that I felt suited me. My co-worker and good friend invited me to her church--very untraditional and totally my style. It is a small church where there are no pews. It's a church within a church, if you will. The name of the church is Sojourn (if you're interested in the website it is At Sojourn their mantra is "no one does like alone". It is for people who are overchurch and underchurched. What I like most about this church is that there is no pressure to impress by wearing one's best outfit or hat. I walked in and immediately was soothed by the coffee-house like atmosphere with the round tables with candles set up. People walked up to me and introduced themselves and thanked me for being present. The message was short but concise and meaningful. Membership is not contingent upon you taking a new members class early in the morning on a Sunday but an individual is welcomed to return with open arms and is an automatic member. The members bring coffee and donuts and other snacks to the service and do not require an offering but instead ask for a donation of whatever one can give. I am sure that I will be returning on a weekly basis so that I may work on my spiritual connection with God and others.

Thank you for all your prayers and well-wishes. It is greatly appreciated! God bless!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Soft Spikes?

I just finished reading Brunsli's post on her large Soft Spike Curlers and I thought to myself: "Are my locks long enough for the small soft spikes?" The answer, I really don't know--that's where you guys come in. Is there anyone out there in the blogger verse that has any idea how long ones locks should be/need to be before they can use the soft spike curlers? My friend is getting married in 2 weeks and I would love to style my locks for the first time in the almost 10 months since my installation. Another question...does anyone with soft spikes actually use the gel or do you use water or some other kind of setting lotion. Any suggestions/advice would be welcomed and appreciated. Thanks!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Tough Times

Well, blog-friends. It would seem that no one is recession-proof these days. Due to a lack of funds and some union business that I am not at liberty to discuss, the job that I have only had for 3 months will be closing on September 10th. I have less than 2 months to find a new job...and in this economy.

We found out about 2 weeks that we were closing. In case you didn't know, I work in a methadone clinic as a counselor. My clients rely on me to be the listening ear that they likely didn't get for much of their lives and now, we're shutting down because some people decided that they didn't want to do the things necessary to save the hospital...and now these same people, instead of sacrificing a few dollars, won't have a job at all.

Am I worried, most definitely...especially since my boyfriend and I work for the same company and therefore both of us will be out of a job come September. We do have plans, however, and I am back on careerbuilder searching furiously. If worse comes to worst I will be a nanny and work under the table until I can find something more permanent. I know we will be okay but I am more worried about my clients. Who is going to guide them and help them through their quest for sobriety if there are no counselors? Many of them have trust issues and it has taken them almost 3 months to build rapport with me and begin to open up and begin to heal...I really feel like this will be a potential setback for a lot of the clients and it saddens me to think that after finally beginning to make some headway they will have to start all over again.

I will keep you guys posted on my job hunt and this whole situation. We are praying that something can be done to keep the clinic open...what that something will be I am not sure...but only time will tell...

Saturday, July 18, 2009


Here is the finished product of my honey's brotherlocks! It took 10 hours which is about the same amount of time that my install took. Myself, honey, and our consultant Brandy had a good time talking and laughing. Luckily she came to us so I took a nap since she started at 6am and I went to bed at like 2am. Can't wait to see how his locks develop. Hopefully his don't grow longer than mine!

Friday, July 3, 2009

Locked Love

My honey is getting brotherlocks! He had his consult yesterday with my new consultant Brandy. His install date is July 18th!

They dangle now!

Clearly not working because I'm playing in my hair

9 months!

Obviously the back haha...yay me!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Weight Watchers Week 1

I lost 2 lbs! Yay me!! I'm going to keep this update short and sweet because I'm hungry and don't feel like typing.

What I did Well:
  • Drank lots of water (I would rather use my points on food than beverages)
  • Exercised every other day (I took a rest day in between to recover)
  • Tracked what I had eaten HONESTLY
  • Discussed how I was feeling with a fellow WW friend (it's good to know you're not alone)
  • Planned my meals out the day before (when you know what you're going to eat it leaves less room for surprises)
  • Didn't beat myself up for "cheating" (you can't really cheat on WW unless you are dishonest in journaling what you are but in that case you're only cheating yourself and can't be surprised when you haven't lost any weight)
Things to Improve:
  • Keeping fresh fruits and veggies stocked in the fridge.
  • Measure out certain things like oatmeal, rice, pasta, cereal so that I can confidently calculate my points.
  • Expecting to have lost 10 lbs in one week (it's healthy to lose 1 to 2 lbs a week)
  • Intensify and mix up my workouts (I got bored with the treadmill quickly and it became more and more difficult to drag myself down to the gym)
Moral of the story: Things are going well but I do not expect to lose weight every week. The weeks when I do not lose weight I will re-evaluate things I did well and things I did not do well and could improve on and try something different. I'm feeling encouraged...update to come next week.

P.S. Tomorrow (July 1st) is my 9 month lockversary! Pics to come later...I have a retightening on Thursday =)

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Weight Watchers

Yes! I have joined Weight Watchers! I am tired of not feeling comfortable in my own skin and I am aware that changes need to be made so I can lead a healthier lifestyle. Its not just about weight loss but more about eating right and reaching optimal health. Of course a perk to eating healthy is weight loss lol. I am excited and can already feel my confidence returning. I will update weekly on my results with some tips as well. Wish me luck!


So when yesterday I decided I wanted to go for a nice jog on the treadmill in my building. I got the key from the front desk, did my jog, and proceeded back to the front desk to retrieve my i.d. and return the key. My favorite security guard was there talking to some girl (as usual...I swear this man must be a mack...there are always women standing at the front desk talking to him). The girl had traditional locks that were dyed a kind of rusty red/orange and they fell just above her eyebrows, at least in the front (she must have had it pinned in the back or something). I wave the treadmill key at the security guard and as he is grabbing my i.d. the conversation with the girl goes like this:

Girl: I like your locks...
Me: Thank you (turns back to security guard)
Girl: How long have you been locking?
Me: Ummm, 9 months
Girl: Oh...(looks puzzled) did they start as nubs?
Me: (trying not to kick her teeth in) No, I have a lot of shrinkage going on, they're longer than they look
Girl: (confused) Oh, I've been locking 8 or 9 months too (clearly said to say her locks are longer than mine)
Me: Well, I don't have traditional locks...these are sisterlocks
Girl: Oh...I figured (smirks)

What the hell is wrong with people???? Did they start as nubs! You can't even start locks from a nub...and what the heck did she mean by nub anyway? Every time I've heard the word nub was when I would hear African Americans say: "Touch me again, you'll draw back a nub!" The whole time she was looking at me so smugly as if her locks were so much better than mine. Hello! We're both natural...we have something in common. Not anymore, we don't. I'm hoping not to ever encounter her again...she is not worthy of having a lock conversation with. Hmph!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

I love them!!!

My babies are getting so big. This is Socks and Pip sleeping. They add so much to my life...they're insane haha <3

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Thing I'm Noticing About My Hair

  • It's much easier to tame in the morning after having it mashed into a pillow.
  • Shrinkage is much less severe!
  • The locks in the front are taking much longer to lock.
  • There are some big fat out of control locks that I just LOVE to touch.
  • Dandruff and itchies have decreased.
  • My hair moves when I move my head =)

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

My New Consultant

I almost forgot to tell you guys about my experience with my new consultant--it was awesome! I had spoken with Brandy (that's her name) on the phone a couple times to confirm my appointment and I knew I would like her right away. She was very personable and friendly, and I immediately felt at ease after I spoke with her.

My appointment was on Saturday at 1pm so I got up early and hit the bank and got my car washed (which got pooped on 2 days later...ugh) and when I got home I checked my phone and saw that I had a missed call from Brandy. I had my fingers crossed that she would want me to come in earlier because I had an engagement later on in the evening (I'll post about that) and wanted to make sure that I would have enough time to get home, change, and do my makeup. Lucky me...that was exactly why Brandy was calling. I made the frustrating trip through the city to South Street and Brandy and I ended up getting there at the same exact time...literally! We were walking to the door at the same time haha.

Right away I noticed that Brandy had baby locks...even younger than mine. They were cute and kind of curly. Right away we started chatting away about our hair, boyfriends, pets, career choices, and everything in between. Oh but here's the kicker! Brandy lives right around the corner from me so next time she retightens my hair she is going to come to my apartment! Yay! Talk about service! I made my next appointment for July 2nd and can't wait to have a chat session with her while she does my hair.

By the way my locks are doing great...a lot of the ends are sealed and I am noticing that there is much less shrinkage. Does this mean that I am well on my way to being fully locked?

Monday, June 1, 2009

You're Next...

A phrase I've heard all too often in the last few months. Next for what, you ask? To get pregnant! I scoff! Why does this offend me so much? Well let's see, I'm 23, unmarried, still in school, barely have enough for groceries, and quite frankly, I don't even know if I want children! For reasons unknown to me my friends seem to almost want me to get fact, they expect it!

I genuinely cannot figure this one out. I mean I am not sexually irresponsible, have never had a pregnancy scare, and have so much in life that I want to do...and procreating is N-O-T on my To Do List. It feels like instead of people encouraging me to continue to work on building a successful career and future for myself they're just waiting for me to "slip up." I say "slip up" in quotations because I think accidental pregnancy is ridiculous...unless you slipped and fell on some sperm getting pregnant was not an accident. By the age of 13 I'm pretty sure everyone knows that sex can lead to babies (among other things) so if you have sex and you don't wrap it up and take other necessary precautions the pregnancy was not accidental...unintentional? Possibly...but accidental...nuh uh.

I am a young African American woman who dreams of being a successful career woman, travelling with or without a significant other, and creating the best possible future I can for myself and any possible offspring (if I so choose). That's right...I HAVE A CHOICE! My choice babies until my HUSBAND and I DECIDE that we are ready to stop being selfish of each other's time and want to share our love with a little one. Until that time, please get it out of your head that I am "next". My uterus is not McDonald's and I am not in line waiting to get something that I didn't order. FIN

8 Months!

Friday, May 29, 2009

Don't Be Such a Snob

Since I have graduated from college and entered the field of Psychology, I have learned that judging people is something that I just should not do. I have worked with individuals who have mental health issues, mental retardation, and addiction. In each of these jobs it was my duty to be neutral, not to judge, to listen, and to be empathetic. I believe that this is how people should be all the time--not just with those who are challenged in some capacity.

My friend is getting married in August and my honey and I have been invited to the wedding as well as her Bridal Tea, which is next week. I have never been to a bridal tea and have been asking questions as to what is expected of me in the way of attire and whether or not I should be bringing a gift. Now recently I discovered that I can access GoogleTalk from my work computer and I like to chat with friends. I was chatting with an older friend of mine (she's not old, just older lol) and happened to mention that I was going to said friend's bridal tea (we both know her because we all go to school together). We giggled about how I will probably stand out like a sore thumb with my locks and brown skin and probably being the youngest in attendance. My friend said back to me "You probably won't be the only non-White person there I'm pretty sure her fiance is Puerto Rican." Since I have hung out with my friend and her fiance before I knew that he was definitely not hispanic. Curious as to why she would think that I asked why and her response was: "He seems pretty trashy so I just assumed he was..." GASP!

Seriously? That's racist on one level and extremely judgmental on another. My friend's fiance is a very nice guy and while he may have made some poor choices, that does not make him trash--it makes him human. Let me give you a brief background. Fiance has 2 young boys by 2 different women. He was married to one of these women and in a committed relationship with the other. He is since divorced and engaged to my friend but is a very good father and pays child support for both children as well as spends quality time with them. Does this make him trash? To me, it makes him a man who is taking responsibility for his actions. Not to mention my friend who called him trash has never met him and doesn't know anything about him other than he has 2 children.

Maybe I expect too much from people. But in my defense, she has every intent on becoming a counselor one day. I would think that she would be more tolerant and less judgmental of people. Then again this was the same person who said she couldn't tolerate people who abused drugs because she thought they were just being stupid and selfish. She recently reneged on that statement and said she had the opportunity to sit in on a meeting and has a new found respect for individuals struggling with addiction.

I just don't get it. Why is it that the people whose lives are the least together are the ones spit poison from their mouths? Well, I'm lying, I do get it. It's because they are insecure and it makes them feel better to talk badly about other people. Let me give you the rundown on Little Miss Snobby: she's 33 and single (not by choice), completely neurotic, has panic attacks over nothing, is so desperate to find a husband (i guess she just wants to skip the boyfriend phase), takes advice from a 23 year old, and sees a shrink on a weekly basis. I'm not saying that these things are bad things but if she would look at herself for just a moment she would see that she has no place coming down on someone else.

Sorry guys, I'm just really bothered me. Take time to get to know people before you decide you don't like them. Don't dislike someone on the basis of the choices that they have made rather how they are handling and taking responsibility for those choices! That's it, I'm done now lol.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Its easy!

This made my coworker got it for me!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009


It has been 7 weeks since my last retightening! This is the longest I've gone in 8 months. Look how thick my locks are. They just look bad at this point lol. My appointment with my new consultant is Saturday and I CAN'T WAIT!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


I have these weird little balls on the end of my locks that come out sometimes when I run my hands through my hair. Does this mean the ends of my locks are starting to seal? Don't mind my gross liney hand lol.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Current hair products

This is my current hair product line up...I just bought the JASON shampoo and the Avalon clarifying shampoo so I have no opinion on them yet. The juices and berries from oyin handmade is moisturizes and smells great too. The Carols Daughter Tui leave in is good too. Jamaican mango and lime's no more itch spray is WAY too medicated smelling for my taste so I've only used it once. The little bottle on the end is Hairobics scalp rejuvenator...I use it after I wash to prevent gets a C lol. And there you have it!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Pip or Binky?

I was thinking of naming him Pip...short for pipsqueak. Apparently he was the baby of the bunch. My friend Ellen thinks he looks like a Binky...what do you think? They're not home yet...I get them next week after they're neutered yay!


This is friend picked the name because his white paws make him look like he has socks on lol.

My furry babies

Meet Socks and Pip! They're not home just yet. The girl fostering sent me these. I pick them up next week after they have been neutered! Can't wait!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Been busy!

I apologize for not updating in a while but it is the end of the semester and school has hit HARD! i've had so many paper's due it's not even funny. I'm down to the last 2, which are due next week, yes!!! I have 2 weeks off and then the summer semester begins...ugh! This school thing is seriously never-ending. I still haven't found another consultant that can accommodate me for evening or weekend hours...anyone in the Philadelphia or South Jersey area have any suggestions?

I also started a new job and moved to a new place all in the same week! The new job is going very well...I am enjoying getting to work closely with my clients and see them on a regular basis. In case you're wondering, I am now a methadone maintenance counselor. Methadone is an opiate blocker--it helps people who are addicted to heroin begin to ween themselves off of the heroin so that they can get their lives back in order. I do individual and group sessions, which I love! My clients are really great people who got sidetracked a bit and are ready to begin to get back on the right track.

The apartment is also's got some really annoying quirks but everything is a work in progress. Our door is a mission and a half to open because the carpet padding makes the carpet near the door too high so you have to push like you're giving birth to get the damn thing open. Some of the windows also don't have screens but I think that was done purposely because it will force us to use our air conditioner, instead of the windows and cause our electric bill to sky rocket. My boyfriend thought it would be harmless to open a window anyway and now we have gnats that hang around the light in the living room that i have been killing for a couple days now.

What else? Oh! I'm getting a kitten!! I'm adopting a kitten from a girl who has been fostering them for the SPCA. I am going to meet them tomorrow and pick one out! I'm so excited...I've never had a pet that didn't have to live in a cage before haha. This is like my dream come true because I wasn't allowed to have a cat or dog as a kid because my mother doesn't really like animals. Go figure though because now she wants a dog to keep her company. She would prefer a man but I'm thinking she will settle for a pup lol!

That's all from of some sort soon to come!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

No one will stop me...

From being able to become a runner like I want to. After I got out of class today I saw the La Salle was having a track meet and I noticed that a friend of mine was watching the meet so I walked down to join her. There wasn't much left but I got really into the 4x4 relay! I was absolutely amazed by their physique and the way that effected how fast or slow or hard they were running. I could see each muscle working hard to propel the runner forward past the person in front of them. I even admired the people who were in the back and struggling because despite the fact that they weren't winning they were still pushing to the finish line. THAT WILL BE ME!

I haven't been running my whole life so, no, I won't be Marian Jones (in more ways than one lol) but I want to be the strongest version of me that I can be. I want to run without pain, I want to run without feeling like I'm taking my last breath with every step, I want to run and be proud of myself. Having said that, I am in the process of healing my body (shin splints) so that I can begin training to run the LiveStrong 5K in August. My time last year was 45 minutes. I would like to cut that down to 35 minutes, which if I stay consistent is totally possible. I'll keep you posted on my progress...I'm not going to start running again until next month so you'll have to wait until then to hear about my progress!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

So let me tell you...

So as you know I had a retightening yesterday. I live in Philadelphia and my consultant was originally in Southwest Philly but she moved about 2 weeks ago to Cherry Hill. Thankfully, I got my little card in the mail with the new address and proceeded to Google the directions. Of course, I GOT LOST! It was 100% my fault (who would have thought the directions would actually be right this time) because I got off at the wrong exit. I was only a half hour late to my appointment though.

I finally arrived and knocked on what I assumed to be the salon door and a woman opened it (she did not have sisterlocks) and I asked for my consultant. She said yes and waved me in. The first thing I noticed was that the shop was HUGE! It had a nice receptionist desk, a couch in the waiting area, an area for washing hair, 2 hair dryers, and a HUGE area with several hair dresser chairs and mirrors.

The second thing I noticed was that I did not see my consultant. Instead a woman with beautiful sisterlocks was sitting behind the desk while the woman who opened the door was taking my coat. The woman behind the desk was on the phone so the other woman decided to help me. The woman who took my coat was an African woman in her late 30's or early 40's and I remembered her from a previous retightening when my consultant had her (with my permission) inspect my hair and tell her what the curl pattern, density, and SL pattern of my hair was...she was a trainee! The woman at the desk was a trainee as well. I asked for my consultant again and they said that she wasn't there and wouldn't be in until later. My first reaction, in my head, was "What?!?" Why hadn't anyone called to tell me that my consultant wouldn't be there and that the trainees would be retightening my hair instead?

I'd like to make it clear that I had no problem with the trainees doing my hair but a heads up would have been nice. My consultant is a master consultant and I trusted that she had trained them well but again, would have been nice to know. Anyway...both of them took to working on my head which I thought would make things go much faster and I would be out of there in no time. WRONG! I was in the chair for 3 and a half excruciating hours. Why excruciating?? Oh because it was the worst pain I had ever experienced during a retightening. It always kind of pinches but this time the pain was intense and then was amplified by 2. Ugh I practically ran to my car after it was over.

It wasn't a horrible experience at all but it wasn't the usual enjoyable one that I have when I go to get my locks retightened. I may actually have to look for a new consultant however because I am starting a new job that doesnt have the flexibility of my old job and my consultant currently doesn't have weekend hours and they generally close at 5, which is the earliest I would be able to get there. Looks like I need to head to the sisterlocks website again...

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Fresh Retightening

Just a few hours after my hair was retightened...looks long, right? That won't last long thanks to shrinkage


I'm in the chair getting my locks to come soon and a blog on the experience...

Monday, April 6, 2009

Hair rut

So my hair has been this length for what seems like forever. I have no idea what to do with it or how to create another look. Suggestions?

Thursday, April 2, 2009

New ink

Its a lotus flower!

6 Months!!

Happy 6 months! Not much going on though...maybe some thickness?

Thursday, March 19, 2009

My Body Is Fighting Me

So over the last few months I have been making every effort to stay physically active. I am in the gym at least 3-4 days a week doing the elliptical for 45 minutes to an hour, doing some weight training, and some other floor exercises. Now that the weather is getting nice again I want to get outside and exercise and run. I went out and bought motion stability sneakers for my flat feet and got all geared up and excited to run. Now last year I had this problem but I thought tha since I now had good sneakers and hadn't hit the pavement in a long time that my injury had gone away...nope! I went running yesterday with my boyfriend and it was so painful! My shins felt like someone was stabbing them every time my foot hit the ground. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what i could do about my shin splints? I hate being limited and hate even more to think that I won't ever be able to be a runner...

Thursday, February 12, 2009


Yeah so I realize I probably have been slacking a tad on the posts. I'll let you know what's going on in list form because I like lists...

1. Mommy and I are doing great. Better than ever! She's giving us all of her old living room furniture, a wine rack, some curtains, and my old dresser. My uncle is giving us his glass kitchen we're set on furniture.

2. We found an apartment. It's in a good safe location in a large gated community so I will be able to feel like I can sleep at night without worrying about someone taking my mirror or any other parts off of my car. We're going back on Sunday to bring our applications and money to hold the apartment.

3. My boyfriend started school last month for his Master's degree...i'm very proud of him but a little sad that i don't see him on wednesdays and thursdays until 10pm because of our conflicting schedules.

4. I am taking 3 therapy, understanding relationships, and insight-oriented approaches. My sex therapy is a pompous ass who likes to hear himself talk. He made us watch 2 hours of sex videos (not porn) last week and then wouldn't even let us criticize the videos themselves. Understanding relationships is taught by 2 people...a man and a woman--both old as dirt but still great teachers. It is a litte unorganized which annoys the crap out of me but it is one of my mindless nights so i can deal with it. Insight-oriented approaches is a beautiful surprise. I love the professor--she's intelligent but is willing to listen to you openly and is not looking for what she wants to hear but just wants you to grow and learn and understand.

5. My friend, who was pregnant, moved to Ohio last month. She had her baby (who is absolutely beautiful). I miss them very much and can't wait to meet the baby that i got to watch grow in her tummy for 8 months.

6. I've been working out really hard in the gym and I am proud of myself and looking forward to seeing some results.

7. My boyfriend got a new job, making more money. I interviewed for it first but didn't get it because of some state regs (it's drug and alcohol counseling) so I passed his resume along and he got it. Well...4 months later they call me back and asked if I was still interested in a position. I'll update you on that when I have more details...

8. I plan on getting another tattoo soon...this will make number 7...i love ink and i'm not afraid to admit it and i'm not worried about being professional at all.

9. I have class with a girl who has awesome sisterlocks...

10. I'm not really into taking pictures of myself or my hair right now so don't anticipate seeing pics of me any time soon.

11. I've been on a spending freeze for the last 2 months and i am DYING! But i need the money and security more than i need the new shoes or new Hello Kitty MAC makeup.

12. I've discovered that I don't want to have a wedding (whenever i do decide to get married)...i just want to wear a pretty dress, eat good food, get a little buzzed, and share my joy with my family and friends. I will make this work!

14. I love my Blackberry Storm and it is totally worth every penny!

I think I've about covered it all...yay!

Friday, February 6, 2009

A Country Where Fat is Sexy??

I'm watching Oprah right now and there is a country in Africa called Mauritania. In this LOVE a full figured woman...the bigger you are, the better! There is no such thing as diet food and women actually go to great lengths to gain weight. There are actually products there that women purchase to help them increase their appetites. Female children are stuffed until they vomit and stuffed some more, just to ensure that they get as big and round as possible. While that's dangerous, I have to be honest, I would feel really great about my big booty and love handles over there. It would be great if Mauritania and the US could find a happy medium and just value a woman's body as it is...point. blank. period.

Hair Update: My 4 month locversary was on the first of the month. I had my retightening on the 3rd. My consultant washed my hair without braiding and banding and I have pretty much been cleared to not b&b anymore. I have also been cleared to use product in between washes to keep my hair from being so dry. I'm not sure what I'm going to get yet. Suggestions are welcome. I didn't take any pics because my hair looks pretty much the same as it did last month.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Feeling Encouraged

I had an AWESOME workout today. I mean seriously, it was phenomenal. One of the best I have had in months! I went with one of my roommates since it was nasty out and I didn't want to have to walk down...she's lazy so she drove lol. I did a strong 33 minutes on the elliptical, burning 481 calories. All of the treads were taken so I headed downstairs and did some stomach work and some lunges with 10 pound weights. I made my way back upstairs and there was an open treadmill so I jogged for 15 minutes and then the last minute I kicked up the speed and just ran really hard. I was on the tread for a total of 20 minutes and burned about 175 more calories!

I was gross and sweaty and coughing my brains out in the women's locker room (still getting over my cold) but it felt really good to push myself. I came home and took a nice long hot shower and really took time to appreciate this body of mine. It's not perfect, but it works and it worked pretty well today, despite me still being a little sick.

Maybe my motivation is that I'm going to spend the weekend with my 2 Jersey girls who are considerably smaller than I am. Not that I am going to lose 15 pounds by tomorrow but I just feel more confident knowing that I am taking an active role in becoming a more healthy and fit woman. I should have a great time this weekend and will watch what I eat so that I can get back on the workout grind on Monday, my next opportunity to get to the gym. Super Bowl is on Sunday so I may eat an exorbitant amount of wings...

In Yo Face West Coast

We had a snow day!!!!! You West Coasters and your warm weather always get to brag about how it's 75 degrees in wherever you are and I need something to brag about. Now, I am sorry for any of you who got snow but still had to go to work but again I HAD A SNOW DAY!!! That's one thing the West Coasters can't have lol. I haven't had a snow day since I don't know when...

I remember when I was in middle school we would hear about a snow storm coming the next day and everyone would wear their pajamas inside out. Now what that did or what logic there was connected to inside out pj's and snow, I don't know but it seemed to work! I did not wear my pj's inside out last night lol but there was someone up there looking out for me because I was so not looking forward to going to work.

By the end of the week I will have worked 2 days and used 3 different kinds of days off. I was out sick on Monday (there is something horrible going around), today was a snow day, and Friday I am off on a vacation day because I'm headed to Jersey for some QT with Little Italy and my Butter Pecan Rican--together we are the United Nations!

I also have Monday and Tuesday of next week off because Tuesday I am getting my hair done. So let me share my logic because I'm sure you're wondering why a 3 hour retightening merits 2 more days off. My appointment, as I mentioned, is on a Tuesday at 9:30am. I was already planning on taking the day off (probably a call out) but then my friends mentioned this alum reunion for my high school and that I should come home so I took Friday off and thought to myself: "Well, it doesn't make sense to take off Friday, come in Monday, and take off Tuesday...I'll just talk them all off!" So that's how I have 5 days off of work...ha!
P.S. We did not get as much snow as you see in the pic above...and I do not know those people.

Friday, January 23, 2009

I don't feel like...

I have locks...if that makes any sense. I'm not sure what I thought it would feel like but I am pretty sure I'm not feeling it. I know these are sisterlocks on my head but when I look at them I don't see locks...I see something else. Don't misinterpret this at all...I absolutely love my sisterlocks...but I just don't feel locked. Maybe once they have grown longer and matured more...

P.S. I'm experiencing some shrinkage. I washed my hair earlier in the week and my hair looked long one minute and was shriveled up the next. I guess it's a good thing because it's part of the process but that does not mean I have to like it! LOL

Monday, January 12, 2009


My honey got me the new Brandy CD--Human, for Christmas. It took listening to it a few times for me to really begin to love it but I definitely recommend checking it out. The album title song is one that definitely pulls at my heart strings...i get a little teary eyes almost every time I listen to it, especially when I am going through rough times (like now with my mother, for example). I found the song on YouTube...I don't know how to get the actual song in there so here's the link

Here are the lyrics too:

Verse 1:
I've said sorry over a thousand times
Is there anything to say to you, to help you dry your eyes?
I would make it all better if I could
I hope you realize
I cry, when you cry
I hurt, when you hurt
I make mistakes but I can't turn back time

I'm only human (forgive me)
I'm only human (love me)
I'm only human (save me)
Save me from myself
I'm no super woman (embrace me)
I'm fragile and broken
You're just like me
I'm perfectly human
I might just tell a lie
Pefectly human...but I'm an angel in disguise

Verse 2:
I'm standing in the mirror and a stranger's looking back
What are you afraid of girl, the future or the past
If you want to see inside of me all you have to do is ask
I cry, when you cry
I hurt when you hurt
I make mistakes but i can't turn back time

(Repeat chorus)

Maybe what tears us apart is what brings us back together
And everything that makes us different, really brings us closer
Could you hold me (for a little while)?
Could you love me (without a doubt)
I need you, I need you

(Repeat chorus)

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Being true to me

With the new year I thought it was time for me to really grow and assert myself as an adult. Lately, I have been feeling smothered and drowned by my mother. While I love her to death, she is going through a rough time in her life and seems to be determined to drag everyone else down with her. She's lonely, frustrated, and having some financial issues. Things have been this way for her for a while now but it seems like life has been piling the crap on lately this past year. At the same time, however, I have fallen in love, found a good job, and I am closer to graduation every day. Things are going well for me and I am growing in ways that I never imagined I would in such a short period of time.

Because my mother is a single parent and we have always been close I felt it was my responsibility to keep her encouraged and listen to her when she is down, like i always have. While it sounds like I am being a great daughter, I am also neglecting my needs and feelings. It's difficult to keep myself encouraged when I feel so heavily responsible for the emotional well-being of my mother. It was clearly weighing me down and exhausting me and adding to the stress of everything else going on in my life (for anyone who made it out of their are sooo lucky lol). I've watched her become something unfamiliar...she is negative, judgmental, and bitter...and yet she projects these things onto all the people around her and has cut them out of her life, isolating herself and perpetuating her loneliness. Though things have always been difficult for us throughout the years, she was always able to maintain her optimistic outlook on life and has lost that.

While this may not have been the best time to assert myself as an adult and request some autonomy, I don't think there is ever really any good time to tell your parent that it's time to cut the umbilical cord. Seriously, it is just not healthy how enmeshed I am with her...for either of us. So what did I do? I wrote her a letter just expressing myself. There was no pointing fingers or blaming and I didn't even mention how I thought she had changed. I was just saying that I had grown and it was time for me to truly test and see how good of a parent she had been to me. I also shared with her my plans with my boyfriend...stating that he was a great person and a great friend to me and that I really loved him.

Why couldn't I just tell her all of these things in person? mother is not a great listener. All she needs is ammo to hear one thing that she doesn't like and you might as well just glue your lips shut and grab a box of tissues. She's been adult for much of her life (even when she was a child she acted like an adult) and because of that she often forgets what it is like to be in her 20s. When she was my age, I was 5...we clearly led very different lives. I just wanted to be able to express myself without interruption and without feeling bad that I want to be myself and live my life and make my own decisions.

Unfortunately she didn't see things my way. She immediately jumped on the defense and almost made it about her--feeling the need to remind me of all the sacrifices she made for me while I was growing up. While I appreciate all of her efforts as a parent, I don't think it appropriate for a parent to throw in their child's face things that they were supposed to do. Her job was to make sure I was taken care of and my job was to get good grades and make something of myself; I did that, and I did it well if I may say so myself.

In any event our relationship is forever changed. It was something that needed to happen in order for her to begin to see and respect me as an adult. I will continue to take care of myself and make her proud and hopefully one day soon we can begin to rebuild our relationship, until then I am actually going to enjoy a bit of emotional separation from her so that I can figure things out for myself.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Happy 3 Months

I look half dead but this is right after my retightening. Look how long my hair is! It's growing really my boyfriend would say: "I am pleased." My retightening went well. She fixed the slippage, which wasn't as bad as I thought. She also said that maybe by the next time I get my hair retightened I can graduate to the next shampoo and won't have to braid and band anymore. I'm really hoping that I can put b&b behind me because I really do hate it. Happy anniversary to me!