Monday, November 10, 2008

'Cause you gotta have FRIENDS!

I haven't had a best friend in over a year. My best friend and I found that we no longer saw eye to eye and when I decided that I was going to live my life my way and not her way we ultimately parted ways. I have a lot of friends and acquaintances but very few real friends. That is not a bad thing by any means, however, which surprises me a little. I am finding that the older you get, the less friends you need. I am content with the 3 or 4 real friends that I have. When I say "real friends" I am referring to the people that I can be millions of miles away from and not see for months at a time but we still maintain that bond-- that knowledge that if and when one of us needs something, the other will be there.

Over the years I have seen friends come and go for many reasons. Last year I was totally stepped on when I let a friend borrow almost $800 from me (school loan money...I don't have it like that) because she said she was just waiting for her refund check and would put the money back in my account as soon as her plane landed from the Dominican Republic (note: I have never been on spring break). Needless to say that never happened. She went as far to blame her mother, saying that she gave the money to her mom to deposit and that her mother used it for something else. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and we set up a payment plan. Weeks went by and I got no payments and she responded with "I've been putting the money in your account, you haven't gotten it?" I don't think I have ever been more disappointed in someone than at that moment. I let it go though. Everyone keeps telling me to sue her but I value friendship more than money and getting the money back won't get our friendship back. It wasn't just the money, it was the lack of respect for me. I am sure we all know about that.

In any event...I have 4 close friends that I trust with my feelings and inner workings. I just thought I would give a little tribute to those friends who have stood by me through the years and never failed to remember what it really meant to be a friend. I only hope that I have meant as much to them as they have meant to me...they're pictured below and I'll be sending them links to this post...Danish, AfroChic, Little Italy, and my Butter Pecan Rican...true friends!


Alyssa said...

FREAKIN love this!!!! thanks 4 the new nickname!!! cant wait to read more!! this blog is simply fantastic as are U!! <3

CarmenNC said...

Aww, how sweet. Can I be friends with your friends? LOL.

N'Drea ~ the Storyteller said...

I really love this post. It resonates so much with me. Like you, I have FEW friends and many acquaintances. I think that, like the word, 'love', 'friend' is loosely used. Presently, I'm learning and trying to let go of all the hurt from being burned and betrayed and used by so-called friends. The good thing is that I'm taking the negative experiences to make me wiser and stronger.

All in all, I've learned that I'm my own BEST friend, and the only one I can trust 100%. For the rest, I trust them to be just who they are; nothing more, nothing less. That way, I don't set myself up for disappointments.

Naturally Sophia said...

Excellent Post. It reminds me of the Golden Girls theme song.

Anonymous said...

This is an awesome post! I have two best friends who I've known the majority of my life. There are times we didn't speak or see one another for months but it was like old times when we linked up.